Promise me you won't ever forget us, and everything we tried to be. Don't forget the laughter and the nights when we both just needed to be held. Don't forget how you felt when you said you loved me, and don't forget the way you looked into my eyes because I knew you meant it. Don't forget that I'll always love you, even if I don't need you the way that I used to. I don't regret anything I did, because if things had happened differently then I wouldn't have met you, I wouldn't have fallen in love with you, and I wouldn’t be trying to get over you now.
So I'm sorry that I can't go on with you. And this letter might be something I'll regret, but I'm already somebody's lover. We just haven’t found each other yet. You really don't know how hard it is to get over you when every time I see you my heart begins to smile. I know I’ll be okay without you. I just keep choosing to ignore it. And so now I've finally gotten the courage to give up and to start letting go of you. And no, I haven't moved on to another guy; I've just decided to move on. I understand that we can't be. You've hurt me too much, but I will never hold any bitterness toward you. You were a very special part of my life. I'll walk away from you this very last time, and I'll never look back. It may’ve made me sad and annoyed you but, I know you'll live. You won't hurt, you won't cry, so don't try to make me think I'm affecting your life at all anymore.
I once told you I'd never say good-bye, and then I started slipping in a puddle of my own tears. Well, isn’t that a shock? I guess I was just naive. Maybe it didn't mean so much to you, but it meant everything to me.
As I watched you walk away from me the last time we saw each other, I watched every dream I had never dreamed with you, I saw every wish that was yet to come true, I felt every ounce of the love in my heart, I knew it all when I saw you walk away... and I know you knew it too, because you took all of me with you when you left.
You once were my everything... the reason I woke up in the morning. Just the thought of you brought a smile to my face that could last for days. The sound of your voice brought chills throughout my body. You made me the happiest that I could have ever been. And for that I am truly thankful.
Watching you walk out of my life does not make me bitter or cynical about love, but rather makes me realize that if I wanted so much to be with the wrong person, how beautiful it will be when the right one comes along and I want to thank you for showing me that. I was wrong when I fought with you. I acted horrible.
Jealousy is a funny thing. I never considered myself such jealous person but I guess you just brought out traits in myself I never knew I even possessed. I should have just walked away from you the day you let me go. It’s been hell living without you. But as long as you're happy, I know I can deal with the consequences.
Maybe I was just a stepping stone for you to get to that point in your life where you'd figure out what you wanted, or didn't want. So to prove to you that I truly love you and all I want is for you to be happy, I'll walk away and let you go. It’s just harder for me than it is for you, I guess. Sometimes I wonder why when I see you, it makes my whole day better, but other times when I see you it brings tears to my eyes…But I know why. It’s because I love you. And it hurts to see all these couples everywhere. Holding hands, kissing or even just looking at each other with this burning light in their eyes. It's so wonderful, but makes me so jealous at the same time, because all the things they have, I wanted so badly with you. But I want you to know that I don't regret a single moment I spent on you. The hardest thing I'll ever have to do was walk away still loving you.
Finally, I see that my happiness doesn't mean having you. My happiness comes from your happiness. And if you can be happy without me, then I can be happy without you. And I know when these days are gone, when all the love we gave to each other slowly fades away, when your beautiful smile is only here as a dream, and when the words 'I love you' are simply sounds of our past, I will always have the memories that were once moments we shared, and I will always know that no matter what, I got the chance to be loved by you. And to me that is the greatest gift you could have ever given me.
I guess I fought with you so much because it hadn’t really sunk in yet. I hadn’t totally realized that you pushed me out of your heart forever, but I know that you did because I felt a pain like nothing I have ever felt before. I know we can't talk anymore. It's not that I’m mad at you or you’re mad at me, it's just that whenever I talk to you, I realize how much I love you. And whenever you talk to me, I realize how much you don’t love me anymore. And when I realize how much I love you, I also realize that we can never be together….Which just makes me love you more.
But I don’t regret any of it. Because I know that if I never met you, I wouldn't have ever liked you. If I never liked you, I wouldn't have fallen in love with you. If I had never loved you, I wouldn't miss you. But, I did, I do, and I will. More than you will ever be able to imagine. When I see you smile in pictures or with familiar friends and know that it's not for me, that’s when I realize that I miss you the most. But I want to be the one you're waiting for, not the one waiting for you. I just I never knew how quickly I would go from someone that you once loved so much to someone you used to know.
I know I'll have another chance, I'll find another guy, I'll see another day, I'll build another world. I know I'll find another life just like you told me too. I'll find another love, but there will never be another you. And it makes me a little sad, but I made a promise to myself not to keep on loving you. Because I can't make you love me if you don't. I can't make your heart feel something if it won't feel anymore. You were the treasure in my hand. You were the one who always stood beside me. So unaware, I foolishly believed that you would always be there. But then that day came where I turned my head and you had slipped away.
I’ll never know if it hurts you to know that we haven't spoken to each other in days… I’ll never know if it hurts you to know that I can’t look into your eyes without looking away. And I will never know if it hurts you to know that everything we had as lovers is gone now forever. But maybe that’s a good thing. I don’t want to see you hurt. So I'm sorry if I made you cry, I'm sorry if tears fell from your eyes, it’s really not at all what I intended to do. But I never wish I hadn’t met you, because then. I would go to sleep at night not knowing there was someone like you out there. Sometimes I look back and wonder if you ever looked at me the way I looked at you. Sometimes l think of you and I wonder if you ever think of me. And one day I'll remember how I fell in love with you and wonder if you ever really fell in love with me. I know you did because your love for me was like trying to touch a star, you knew you could never reach it, but you couldn’t help but try.
So really, I want to thank you for breaking my heart as gently as you could. =]
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