Mind For Rent

My life is a silly little mess. I got into an arguement last night with a friend of mine about my ED. He kept telling me that what I am doing is unhealthy...but what he didnt get is that everything he does is also unhealthy. Instead of sitting around just snacking on crap food. I choose to either exercise or just not mindlessly eat. It is just as unhealthy. Finally the conversation ended with a 'to each their own'. Only because unless you have an ED - its sort of hard to relate. My best friend gives me shit all the time for taking diet pills. But she is mean about it. She makes fun of how the insides of my legs dont touch and how small my arms are. I like it. Why cant anyone let me be satisfied with myself? I want to look into the mirror and feel happy. Not just content. I want to turn myself on. I WANT TO LOOK GOOD IN BAGGY GYPSY CLOTHES. Im sure that sounds horribly selfish but for the last three years of my life I have dedicated my life to other people. helping them, taking care of the, the whole deal. It is my turn now. And the only control I really have is over my ED so I am going to accomplish my goal and stay safe while doing so. I dont want to go back into treatment and I certainly dont want to see a psych.Keep your hopes up high & your head down low!